Barely Breathing
by jsd221077
Summary: Darvey: Sarah, a new associate at the firm, develops a huge crush on Harvey, but in an attempt to get him to notice her she realises just how damaged he is, and that maybe there is only one person who can fix him. Set sometime after the season 4 finale, my first fanfic so please be nice!
1. Chapter 1

"Sarah...SARAH!" Louis Litt barked, whilst banging his hand firmly on top of the cubicle in front of him. Sarah immediately snapped out of her daydream, looking up at Louis from behind her desk, her heart racing from the sudden shock.

"Erm, yes Louis?" she asked nervously. He rolled his eyes back into his balding head before leaning forwards towards her.

"Listen here you little piece of shit," he started, his voice now a whisper, "I do not pay you to sit and stare at the wall, so if you don't have that brief finished in half an hour I will make sure this is your last day here."

"Of course Louis, I'll get it done," Sarah replied with a sigh, watching as Louis stormed off to find another associate to terrorise. Sarah had always been incredibly shy, but that hadn't mattered during college or law school – she kept to herself, and could always just hide in the library or her room if things got too much. This, however, was the real world, and although her amazing grades had allowed her to achieve her dream of working at Pearson Specter Litt, she knew she would soon have to start getting herself noticed if she wanted to stay.

Sarah wasn't hired as an associate who would work for a specific partner, she was taken on as an extra, someone to fill in paper work and write briefs, as and when she was needed. She knew this meant she wouldn't gain experience as quickly as the other associates, but at least she was in the door, right? Wrong. After two months at the firm she hadn't been to court, she never got to meet clients, in fact, she hardly ever left her desk. She had never even met Harvey Specter, named partner of her firm, and the most talked about man in the world of New York law. Sarah turned back to her computer, trying to force herself to think about something other than the disappointment of her job, when the door opened, and in strode a man in a perfectly tailored suit, with a thousand dollar haircut to match.

 _Now that's what real confidence looks like,_ Sarah thought.

"Louis, I need to borrow one of your associates," said Harvey, as he strode across the room.

"Sure thing Harvey, take your pick, they are all just as worthless as each other!" replied Louis, loud enough for the associates to hear.

 _Harvey..._ Sarah's ears pricked up at the mention of his name and she looked up from her computer screen. _They definitely weren't lying when they said he was attractive_ , she thought, peering over her cubicle to get a better look at him.

"Cut the crap Louis, I just need you to give me the quietest associate in the whole firm."

Louis looked at Harvey in confusion before turning to scan the room, stopping as his eyes reached one desk in particular.

"Well that would be Sarah over here," said Louis, pointing across the room, "the girl never even speaks!"

"Perfect," grinned Harvey, as he began walking towards her. Sarah sprung up out of her seat and stuck out her hand to shake Harvey's, a little too enthusiastically.

"Hello Mr Specter, I'm... I'm Sarah Thompson," she said nervously. Harvey smirked at her and stared at her hand for a moment, before choosing to ignore it and turning towards the door.

"Come with me," he shouted over his shoulder.

Sarah had to run to keep up with Harvey's long legs, trying to be as careful as possible not to trip up in her stilettos, the last thing she needed was to embarrass herself in front of the great Harvey Specter.

"Erm...Mr Specter," said Sarah, a little out of breath, "I um, just wanted to say thank you for this opportunity and I..."

"Firstly," Harvey interrupted, "you can call me Harvey, secondly this does not mean you are now my new associate, and thirdly, you don't even know what I'm going to ask you to do yet so why are you thanking me?"

Taken aback slightly Sarah took the last part to be a rhetorical question, and continued to follow him down the hall to his office. When they arrived Sarah stopped for a moment, in awe of the New York skyline which could be seen through the glass all around them.

"Hi I'm Mike, you're Sarah right?"

"Um yeah I am," Sarah smiled, shaking the hand of the young man now stood in front of her. She was grateful for the warm reception, but slightly confused as to how Mike knew her name.

"Okay Sarah," said Harvey, gesturing for her and Mike to sit down opposite him at his desk, "like I said before, this is a onetime thing. Louis said you like to keep to yourself and I need an associate who will keep their mouth shut, do you think you can manage that?"

"Yes of course Harvey," replied Sarah sincerely, attempting to hide her excitement.

"Good, because if you don't, your days will be numbered at this firm." Harvey paused for a moment, staring at her intensely with his dark eyes. It was meant to scare her, but Sarah found herself swooning rather than shaking in fear.

"Okay, so basically someone is stealing from one of our biggest clients, and the reason I need you to keep quiet is because the person behind it is a relative of one of our senior partners," Harvey said, standing up and fastening the button of his charcoal Tom Ford suit jacket.

"So this is sort of like legal fight club!" Sarah interjected excitedly. Mike and Harvey just stared back at her in confusion.

"Because... the first rule is we aren't allowed to talk about it," she explained. The men grinned at each other as though they were sharing a private joke, before Harvey turned to Sarah and said "I think we are going to get along just fine."

"Mike will have to fill you in on the details because I have a meeting to get to, and I expect the two of you to have come up with a few ideas as to how we can get proof before I get back," said Harvey, walking towards the door.

"Hey Harvey, what meeting?" asked Mike.

"That's none of your goddamn business, oh and Mike, try not to spend too much time flirting with Sarah here, we actually have a job to do."

Sarah found herself blushing slightly as she watched Harvey leave. Mike was a great looking guy, and rumour had it things were getting serious between him and Rachel Zane, the gorgeous paralegal turned associate with legs that went on for days. Why on Earth would he want to flirt with her?

"Okay Sarah, so I take it this is your first time working with Harvey?" asked Mike, leaving Sarah no time to dwell on Harvey's words.

"Yeah it is," she replied, "in fact, this is the first time I've actually met him."

"Oh," said Mike, slightly shocked, "well there's a few things you should know about him. He'll treat you more like a partner than an associate, which is great but also puts you under a lot of pressure, he'll expect you to be one step ahead at all times. Secondly, don't be afraid to say it like it is, he'll respect you more if you push the boundaries and get a little cocky than if you act like you are scared of him, and that's especially true when it comes to women..."

 _Oh what a surprise, he likes strong, confident women,_ thought Sarah. _I have no chance then!_

"...and thirdly, he's going through a bit of a rough patch right now, so if he snaps at you, just try not to take it personally."

"A rough patch?" Sarah questioned.

"Yeah his secretary left him to work for Louis and he isn't exactly taking it well."

"Wait...Donna left him?!"

Donna was one of the few key players in the firm that Sarah had actually met, and she was an amazing woman. Sarah also knew that Donna and Harvey had worked together for years, and that people had always thought there was something going on between them. There had to be an interesting story as to why she had left him after such a long time, to work for Louis of all people, but judging by the way Mike silently nodded at her, Sarah realised that now probably wasn't the best time to ask. Instead she got to work reading through the huge box of documents sat on the desk in front of them.

By the time Harvey returned to the office six hours later, Mike and Sarah were sprawled on the floor below a whiteboard covered in writing, documents and empty food cartons all around them. Harvey entered and stopped in the doorway, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance at the mess he saw before him.

"Why the hell does it look like a bomb went off in my office?" he asked. Sarah stood up, startled at his sudden entrance, while Mike stayed sat on the floor, smirking.

"It's okay Sarah," said Mike, "Harvey isn't going to mind the mess when he finds out what we've uncovered."

"Well it had better be something good," started Harvey, picking up an empty takeout carton and throwing it in the trash in disgust, "because I need to know you've spent the last six hours doing something other than eating Chinese food and making a mess."

"Yeah speaking of that, what meeting could possibly take six hours? Do you have a new girlfriend we don't know about?" asked Mike.

"I told you," Harvey shrugged, sitting down at his desk, "it's none of your goddamn business who I had a meeting with, and my sex life is also none of your business!"

Sarah felt her cheeks turning pink at the mention of Harvey's sex life, something she thought she would very much like to be a part of. She mentally scolded herself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts about her new boss, but found herself staring at him as she and Mike began to tidy up. It was at that moment she noticed that something wasn't quite right. Quiet people may not always be at the centre of the action, but they often spend so much time watching and listening to others, that they become great at reading people. Sarah noticed that Harvey's tie was slightly off centre, when that morning it had been perfect, his hand had a slight shake to it when he picked up his pen, and his eyes were red, almost as if... had Harvey Specter been crying?

"Anyway you two, stop distracting me and tell me this supposedly great idea you've had," Harvey instructed.

"Well," started Mike, as he and Sarah sat down opposite Harvey, and began to discuss everything they had uncovered in the last six hours. Sarah left the talking to Mike and continued to watch Harvey curiously. There was something about those gorgeous brown eyes of his that looked different from earlier in the day, as though he'd put up an internal wall to hide whatever had happened that afternoon. It was heartbreaking to look at, such a confident and handsome man who seemed, sort of broken. Sarah was determined to find out what was wrong and was desperate to help. She may have only just met the man but he made her heart race, and as her caring side took over, Sarah didn't care if it wasn't her place – she was going to fix Harvey Specter.


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah arrived at Pearson Specter Litt at 7:15 the next morning, desperate to get a head start on the work she'd begun the previous day. For the first time since she's started working there, Sarah was actually excited to come to work, to get stuck into a really important case, and most of all to spend some more time with Harvey. She exited the elevator and turned towards his office, her heart rate quickening in anticipation, but when she got there the office was empty. She paused staring through the glass, her heart sinking slightly.

"If you're looking for Harvey you're going to have to wait at least another hour," said a voice from behind her. Sarah turned around and saw Donna approaching with her signature strut.

"Why's that?" asked Sarah, "Does he have a meeting or something?"

"Ah you still have a lot to learn!" laughed Donna, "the last time Harvey came to work before eight was the day he made senior partner, and that was only so he could rub it in Louis' face."

"Oh," said Sarah looking dejected, "well do you have any idea what I should do until he gets here? Do you think Mike will be here yet?"

"Well Mike may be more hard-working than Harvey but even he won't be here for another half an hour. Why don't we go and get some coffee?"

"Yeah that would be great, but won't Louis mind?" asked Sarah.

 _Ah so she does know,_ thought Donna.

"Pfft, you really think a woman like me can't handle Louis Litt?" asked Donna. Sarah just laughed, and the pair turned back down the hall in search of the nearest coffee machine.

Mike walked into the kitchen to find Donna and Sarah sat at the table, deep in conversation.

"Ah Sarah, I see Donna is distracting you from work already then?"

Sarah was just about to apologise when Donna jumped in, "Actually Mike I was just giving her something to do seeing as she's the only one working on your case that was here on time."

"Okay okay fair enough," said Mike. He and Donna looked at each other and smiled like long lost friends. "How are you anyway?"

"I'm good thanks Mike," replied Donna, a hint of sadness in her voice, "how's Harvey?"

"Erm, he's... better." Was all Mike could say.

There was an awkward pause then as Donna and Mike both looked down at the floor, before Mike turned to Sarah.

"Well anyway you might want to hurry up and finish your coffee, Harvey left a message with Gretchen to say he's on his way in, and I think we should get a head start before he does."

"Wait a minute, who's Gretchen?" Sarah called after Mike who was leaving the room.

"Harvey's new secretary," Mike called over his shoulder. Sarah was taken aback slightly, and turned to Donna.

"Did you know he'd hired someone new?" she asked. Donna just stared into space, deep in thought. She turned to Sarah and smiled sweetly.

"Of course I knew," she said, "I'm Donna". Sarah watched as Donna stood up and put her mug in the sink, it was obvious from the look on her face that she was lying, but Sarah decided not to push her.

"Hey Donna, do you think I should get Harvey some coffee?" she asked.

"Honey, that's not your job," Donna replied.

"I know, but I just feel like I haven't done enough to thank him for giving me a chance."

Donna smiled at Sarah before picking up her bag and walking towards the door.

"Turn on the coffee machine and wait here; I'll be back in a second."

By the time the coffee was freshly brewed Donna re-entered the room carrying a small bottle in her hand.

"Okay, so if you're going to make Harvey's coffee you have to do it right," she said, opening one of the cupboards and pulling out a black mug with a small letter H on the handle, "when Harvey very occasionally makes his own coffee he likes it in this mug. Make it black, with two sugars, then add a dash of this." She handed over the small bottle to Sarah – it was vanilla coffee syrup.

"Thanks Donna, "smiled Sarah, as she finished making the coffee.

"Hey, what are friends for," Donna winked. She watched as Sarah practically skipped out of the room holding Harvey's coffee. _Oh dear,_ she thought, _she's fallen for him already, and a girl as shy and insecure as that could easily get her heart broken by a man like Harvey Specter._ But Harvey's love life wasn't Donna's problem anymore, and she began to walk back to Louis' desk.

"Good Morning Harvey, I thought you might need some coffee," Sarah smiled entering his office. Harvey looked up from his laptop, a confused look on his face.

"You know I have a secretary to do that for me," he said, taking the mug from her.

"Yeah I know, I just wanted to thank you again for giving me a chance."

Harvey rolled his eyes and was about to make a sarcastic comment when he took a sip of the coffee. His eyes widened as he stared at the mug with a look that showed a thousand memories flashing through his mind. He took another sip then looked at Sarah knowingly.

"Thanks Sarah, you can go and get to work now," he smiled. Sarah smiled back and turned on her heel.

"Oh, and tell Donna I said hi the next time you see her."

After another week of work Sarah was no closer to finding out why Harvey had been crying the day they first met, but her and Mike were definitely closer to finding out who was behind the embezzlement at Graham International. They had established that Ian Taylor (brother of senior partner Derek Taylor) was definitely involved and better yet, they had emails which proved his PA knew about it. Sadly, Mike had just received a phone call to say that Graham International were going to merge with another company, and that if Harvey didn't put an end to this situation in the next 48 hours, they would be looking for another lawyer.

Mike sighed after putting down the phone, rubbing his eyes and stretching backwards in his chair. He quickly stood up and put on his jacket.

"I'm going to go and draft the affidavit for Ian's PA to sign, I need you to get in contact with Harvey and tell him what's going on," he said to Sarah.

"How am I supposed to do that?" she asked.

"His cell phone number is written in the notebook in the top drawer of my desk, use that, and be quick about it."

Mike quickly left the room and Sarah immediately ran to his desk. She began flicking through the pages of the black leather-bound notebook she found, until she came across what she needed. Pulling out her iphone she inputted the number and began to type as fast as she could:

 **Harvey, we've found some evidence to prove Ian was behind the embezzlement but we'll have to be quick if we want to use it. Get back to me as soon as you can, Sarah x**

Oh shit. She'd just put a kiss on the end of a text to her boss. The boss she was trying to hide the fact she had a huge crush on. Picking up her phone in a panic she typed a second message:

 **Sorry, didn't mean to put that on the end, just a habit of mine :)**

Oh God, now she'd put a smiley face on the end, what was she, twelve years old? Sarah stood up and shook her head, embarrassed at her own stupidity, when she heard her phone vibrate on the desk next to her.

 **Harvey: Don't worry about it ;) I'll be back in 10 x**

Her heart started to race as she re-read the message in front of her, was Harvey Specter flirting with her? She dismissed the thought as ridiculous and went to help Mike.

When Harvey returned to the office he found Mike and Sarah in Mike's office, both typing away silently on their laptops.

"Okay Mike, I need you to fill me in on what you've found. Sarah would you mind grabbing my calendar from my desk? I need to see when I'm available tomorrow to schedule a meeting with the CEO of Graham International."

"Sure Harvey," Sarah replied, quickly leaving the room and heading to Harvey's office. When she arrived she smiled at the old lady sat outside, whom she assumed must be Gretchen. She quickly rummaged through the pile of documents on Harvey's desk. _It wouldn't be this much of a mess if Donna was still here!_ She thought to herself. Eventually she found what looked like a calendar, and quickly scanned it to find the current week. Strangely the whole of the next morning was messily crossed out in black pen.

"Harvey, the whole of tomorrow morning is blacked out on your calendar, do you need me to ask Gretchen to reschedule your meeting?" asked Sarah when she returned to Mike's office.

Harvey looked confused, before realisation crept over his face.

"No!" he snapped defensively, "I'll sort it. Just tell Gretchen to get me a meeting at 9:30 tomorrow morning."

Sarah nodded and left the room once more. _Why did he suddenly get so defensive?_ Wondered Sarah, _not that I mind, he is kind of sexy when he's angry._

Sarah left Harvey's orders with Gretchen and went to replace the calendar on Harvey's desk. She scooped up the papers and tried to organise them into a slightly neater pile. As she was gathering them together a small bit of card fell out of the pile and on to the floor. Curiously Sarah bent down to pick it up, realising it was a business card:

 **Dr. Paula Agard**

 **51 W 22** **nd** **St, NY**

Sarah looked around, and even though she knew she shouldn't, she slipped the business card into her trouser pocket.

After another long five hours of preparing for the next day's meeting, Harvey and Mike left and headed home. Sarah went to her cubicle and was packing up her belongings when she remembered the business card in her pocket. She knew she could always search the address when she got home, but the anticipation was killing her, and there was one person just along the hall who knew everything.

"Donna can I ask you something?" said Sarah, peering over the desk in front of her.

"Of course!" Donna replied, "as long as it's not about where I get my hair done. That is one secret I'll never tell."

"No it's not that," laughed Sarah nervously, "I was wondering if you happen to know anyone called Paula Agard?"

"Of course, everyone knows her, she's a top corporate therapist."

Sarah's eyes widened in shock.

Suddenly it all made sense.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing guys, I really appreciate it :) Please stick with me, things are about to get a lot more intense ;)


	3. Chapter 3

"Sarah are you okay?" asked Donna, a look of real concern in her eyes, "you look like you've just seen a ghost!" Sarah just continued to stare with her mouth open, unsure as to whether or not she should tell Donna what she had just realised.

"Uh...yeah," she said, deciding it was best to keep this to herself, "I just forgot I had to do something really important." Sarah turned away from Donna and practically ran down the hall back to her cubicle. She was just about to leave when she remembered that she still had Dr Agard's business card in her pocket. _What if Harvey realises it's gone?_ She thought, _maybe I can quickly go and put it back where I found it._

She began to walk to Harvey's office, and was stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that he was still inside. He was looking out over New York city, his jacket and tie taken off and his sleeves rolled up, with one hand resting on the window ledge, the other holding a half empty glass of scotch. Sarah silently turned back towards the way she came when she heard his voice call out: "Sarah, can you get in here for a minute?" She held her breath for a moment, _what could he possibly want from her at this time of night?_ Sarah entered Harvey's office, nervously watching the man in front of her, who still hadn't turned around.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked, almost aggressively.

"Nothing, I mean, I just wanted to talk to Donna for a moment before I left," she replied nervously.

"Ha! Well I wouldn't bother with that in the future, Donna is nothing but a selfish bitch!" he spat.

Sarah couldn't believe what she was hearing, until Harvey turned around and looked at her. His eyes were glazed over and his jaw set firm. He was drunk.

"Harvey, you don't mean that, you're just upset about her leaving."

"Oh no, I do mean that," he replied, now walking towards her, "you on the other hand, are the total opposite of Donna!" Harvey began to smirk, his voice turning husky as he moved closer and closer to Sarah.

"What...what do you mean by that exactly?" Sarah struggled, as his dark eyes bore deeply into hers.

"I mean," he said, his face now inches from hers, "you adore me." He reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her forwards so that her body was flush against his. Sarah closed her eyes, shaking under his firm grip and the feel of his warm breath against her neck. She was sure her heart was beating so loud that he could hear it too, and she struggled to breathe as he leaned in even closer and whispered in her ear: "admit it. You want me."

Sarah was fast losing control as she placed a hand on his toned chest and leaned backwards slightly so that they were now facing each other. His eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips, causing her to dig her fingernails into her leg in anticipation. It was at that moment she realised it wasn't skin she could feel beneath the fabric, but a small piece of card. She suddenly pulled away from Harvey shaking and out of breath.

"Harvey I can't do this," she said with as much authority as she could muster, "you're in a bad place right now and I think you should just go home." Then she turned and ran out of the building, tears streaming down her face. She can't remember when she stopped crying, but eventually she reached her apartment and sleep overtook her.

Sarah was woken the next morning by the sun coming through her curtains. She turned and looked at the clock, 6:30 it read. She smiled, and was about to turn over when the events of the night before came flooding back. Harvey's voice, his hands, his firm body pressed against hers, his eyes, the smell of his cologne... and the realisation that none of it was real. She placed her hands over her eyes in an attempt to stop herself from crying again, but it was no use. She felt embarrassed, and used, and most of all stupid. But she also knew that she would have to walk into the office in two hours with her head held high, so she got out of bed and went to make herself a cup of coffee.

By 8:30 Sarah was sat behind her desk organising all of the documents they had so far gathered so that Harvey could take them to his meeting.

"Sarah you know you didn't have to do that, you could've gotten one of the paralegals to do it for you," said Mike as he entered the room.

"I know," Sarah replied, "but I thought I could get it done quicker, seeing as Harvey's meeting is in an hour." In reality she needed a distraction; just the mention of Harvey's name was causing her blood pressure to rise. Right at that moment the man himself walked in, smartly dressed as usual but with sunken eyes showing the world just how much he'd had to drink the night before.

"Okay you two, are the documents ready for my meeting with the CEO?" he asked.

"Here," said Mike, handing over the folders Sarah had just finished putting together.

"Thanks Mike, I'll be back in an hour, after I've won this thing," said Harvey, turning to leave.

"Not everything is about winning Harvey, and besides, you aren't going to court, you're going to a meeting," smirked Mike.

"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep the score?" Harvey replied. Mike shook his head watching Harvey leave.

Sarah couldn't believe it, Harvey hadn't even acknowledged her existence, let alone approached the subject of what had happened last night. She wasn't sure whether to feel hurt or relived, but either way, it was obvious that Harvey was in need of some serious help.

Donna had been watching Sarah for the last ten minutes. She was sat in the library, doing a very bad job of pretending she was working, with an incredibly worried look on her face. Donna couldn't take it anymore, something was up, and she had to find out what.

"Earth to Sarah. Is anyone there?" she asked, sitting down on the edge of the desk.

"What? Oh hi Donna, I was just doing some work for Harvey and..."

"No you weren't," Donna interrupted, "I've been watching you for the past ten minutes and all you've done is stare at the table with that worried look on your face! Is Harvey treating you okay?"

 _Oh god,_ thought Sarah, her eyes widening in panic, _is it really that obvious? What if everyone finds out and gets the wrong idea?_

"EARTH TO SARAH!" Donna said, much louder this time, "What the hell is wrong with you? You seemed so happy yesterday until you came and asked me about Dr. Agard, and since then you've been all weird with me!"

"It's nothing honestly," Sarah lied, "it's just the case making me stressed." Donna looked at her, unconvinced.

"Okay, well don't let Harvey become too dependent on you, for work or otherwise," said Donna, "I know from experience that it won't be good for you or him." She then turned away and walked back down the hall.

Sarah never saw Harvey for the rest of the day and she had to admit she was relieved. She heard from Mike that Harvey's meeting had gone well, and that the CEO of Graham international had agreed to hold off the merger talks for a few more days, meaning they could all leave the office early. Mike was going to have a celebratory dinner with Rachel, and Sarah was looking forward to a night in her apartment, accompanied by her best friend Netflix. She had just sat down and turned on the TV when she heard a knock at the door. Confused as to who could be calling at this time of night, she didn't even think to put on some more clothes, as she walked to the door wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt . Sarah opened the door and was shocked at what she saw. Dressed in sweatpants and a tight white T-shirt which showed off his muscular arms in all their glory, stood Harvey Specter. He leaned against the doorframe, looking Sarah up and down whilst biting his lip. She didn't have time to protest before he pushed his way inside.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again everyone for reading and reviewing, I'm glad to hear I've managed to keep people guessing, and hopefully this chapter will be just as unexpected. I wanted to write Sarah as a character with a lot of insecurities, meaning she's quite conflicted and doesn't always make the best choices. I haven't quite decided where I want to take her, as this story is mostly about Harvey's journey, but let's just see what happens :)**

...

"Nice place you've got here," said Harvey as he pushed his way past Sarah into her apartment, "it's not quite my Upper East Side penthouse, but then again nobody has a place like mine."

"Harvey, what the hell are you doing here?!" Sarah demanded, both annoyed and slightly embarrassed.

"Well I'm not here for what you're thinking, that's for sure," he replied with a wink. Sarah felt her cheeks turning slightly pink as she watched him standing in front of her, with his signature grin on his face.

"Bullshit Harvey, there's only one reason a guy like you would turn up to a girls apartment this late at night, and besides, I saw the way you looked at me when I opened the door."

"Actually you're wrong," said Harvey looking suddenly much more serious, "I came here for something else, but I got a little distracted by your... lack of clothing." Sarah looked down at her bare legs, and it occurred to her just how close she was to baring everything else. She suddenly felt all the more embarrassed, and it must have shown, because Harvey began to chuckle.

"You know, you really don't need to be embarrassed, you're a lot hotter than you think. Just have a little confidence in yourself!"

 _Did Harvey Specter just call me hot?_ She thought, unable to believe what she was hearing. There was a small part of her that wished he would just pick her up, carry her into the bedroom and have his way with her – seeing him in casual clothing just made him all the more irresistible. But then she remembered what had happened just twenty four hours before, and realised that an encounter of that kind would probably just lead to pain and regret.

"Harvey," she sighed looking down at the floor, "what are you really doing here?"

"Well aren't you going to get me a drink first?" he smiled sweetly.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she couldn't help but smile back, "when it comes to me, you and alcohol, we haven't exactly gotten off to the best start." Harvey's face changed as he realised what she meant. He looked down at the floor and put his hands in his pockets. He looked almost... ashamed.

"That's why I'm here Sarah, I wanted to apologise, and I thought maybe we could just talk..."

"Isn't that what your therapist is for?"

Sarah watched as Harvey's whole body tensed up and his eyes widened. His jaw tightened and he struggled to speak.

"You...you know about Dr Agard?" he stuttered. Sarah looked at him sympathetically, realising the impact of what she'd just said.

"Yes Harvey, but don't worry, I haven't told anyone." He relaxed a little, but stared down at the ground.

"I realise that you don't want people to think that the great Harvey Specter has feelings, but what you're dealing with obviously goes a lot deeper than just losing Donna to Louis." Harvey shuffled his feet, still not daring to make eye contact with her.

"I'm... I've...been taking anti anxiety medication. That's why I went to see Dr. Agard," he said, just loud enough to hear. Her heart sank as she watched him struggling to say what was on his mind.

"She's gone Sarah." Harvey choked, finally looking up, to reveal a solitary tear rolling down his left cheek. Sarah didn't know what to do. She just wanted hold him and tell him it would all be okay. But they were still practically strangers, and she was afraid of how he might react if she tried to get too close.

"Maybe, it would help if you talk to me," she said.

"Hm. I doubt that," he mumbled, "no offence but if a Harvard educated therapist hasn't managed to help after a month of me seeing her, I doubt you'll be able to." Harvey sighed and sat down on Sarah's sofa, his head in his hands.

"Yeah, but the difference is I'm not diagnosing you, or giving you medication, or trying to fix you. I'll just listen." She sat down beside him, gently placing a hand on his arm. She had no idea that behind the swagger and the smile was a man this damaged.

Harvey looked at her hand on his arm, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"Okay," he sighed, "what do you want to know?"

"I don't want to know anything Harvey," she said, removing her hand from his arm, "just tell me as much or as little as you like." Harvey just stared into space for a moment before sitting back in the chair.

"I saw Donna today. She was wearing a navy blue dress. It was new, or, at least she never wore it in all the time she worked for me. There was some kind of lace on the back and... it reminded me of this one time...we went to a cocktail party together." His eyebrows knitted together as though he was trying to recall every detail of the night in question.

"It was some bullshit evening I got dragged into because Jessica wanted me to try and close a new client, and I nearly didn't go until Donna offered to come with me. I remember she insisted on meeting me there rather than letting me pick her up, and when I got there I panicked because I couldn't see her, but I turned around, and there she was, walking into the room, and turning every head as she went." He smiled as he spoke, while Sarah continued to silently listen.

"You know, she always looks good, but there was something about the way she looked that night. Her dress was navy blue and floor-length, with lace across the neckline. It just fitted her perfectly and the way it moved to show off her legs as she walked, just...blew me away. I think that was the night I realised I..." Harvey stopped, a look of pain creeping over his face.

"Realised what Harvey?" Sarah asked gently. He looked at the floor for a few seconds before deciding to continue.

"We both drank far too much that night and I ended up having to call Ray to take us home. We laughed all the way to her apartment, and when we got there I walked her to the door. When I said goodnight she kissed me on the cheek, and she smelled like... butterscotch. It was so hard not to just grab her and kiss her..."

"So why didn't you?" interrupted Sarah.

"Well, because of her rule, I didn't want to ruin the night by crossing any lines."

"Wait, what rule?" Sarah asked, suddenly feeling out of the loop.

"She won't get involved with men that she works with," Harvey explained.

"Is that the only reason you two have never...you know..."

"Oh well I mean we did..." Harvey stopped, realising he was about to share something he swore to Donna he'd never speak of. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Why am I even telling you all this? I hardly even know you," he sighed.

"Well you know me well enough to tell me that apparently I adore you and I want you," laughed Sarah, referring to the events of the previous evening.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about that Sarah," Harvey apologised, "I was totally out of order. In fact, I was out of order coming here tonight, you don't need all of my baggage." Harvey stood up, and turned towards the door.

"Harvey it's okay, I accept your apology," Sarah smiled, following behind him.

"Hey," she said, reaching out to stop him from leaving, "don't you fancy that drink before you go?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked, turning back around to face her.

"Trust me Harvey, I think we could both use one right now."


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah walked into Pearson Specter Litt the next morning carrying two coffees rather than just the usual one for herself. Everything she'd heard from Harvey the night before was playing on repeat in her brain – she was convinced now more than ever that he was in love with Donna, from the way he could recall the tiniest details about her from a night that happened almost five years ago, to the way his eyes lit up every time he said her name. But either he didn't know that yet, or he was afraid to admit it. Sarah wanted to find out more, which was why she was headed to Donna's desk holding a non-fat mocha latte with whipped cream and sprinkles. She placed the cup down on the desk, smiling at Donna, who picked it up, suspiciously taking a sip.

"Mike told you my favourite drink?" she asked.

"Harvey actually...when he...came to my apartment last night," Sarah said, quiet enough so that only Donna could hear. Donna almost choked on her coffee.

"Oh God Sarah, you didn't did you?! I knew you had a crush on him but I didn't think..."

"What? No!" interrupted Sarah, embarrassed by what Donna was insinuating, "We just...talked."

"Talked about what?" Donna asked, confused.

"Actually, we talked about you." Donna just stared at Sarah for a moment before leaning forward and whispering:

"Meet me in the file room in ten minutes."

"The file room?" Sarah asked.

"Trust me," said Donna, "it's the only place in this firm you can get any privacy."

Ten minutes later Sarah had dropped of her things at her cubicle and walked to the file room where she found Donna already waiting. She ushered Sarah inside and locked the door behind them.

"Donna, are you sure that we can talk in here, I mean, don't other people need to use this room?" asked Sarah.

"Of course, trust me, when people see that the door to this room is locked, they won't disturb us."

"And why's that?"

"Let's just say that a lot of stuff has gone on in this room that doesn't involve talking," said Donna, raising an eyebrow suggestively. Sarah's jaw dropped as she realised what Donna meant.

"Wait, so if anyone saw us coming in here and locking the door, they're going to think we're having sex in here?!"

"Well there are worse people you could be having sex with," laughed Donna, "and anyway, speaking of sex, there is no way Harvey came to your apartment last night just to talk."

"Actually he came to apologise to me."

"Apologise for what exactly?"

"Well," sighed Sarah, "the other night after I came to ask you about Dr Agard, he called me into his office and...he kind of... tried to kiss me." Donna scoffed and gave a look as if to say _typical Harvey_.

"Wait, and he actually came to apologise to you? No sarcastic comments about how you should take it as a compliment or how most women would think themselves lucky?"

"Nope," said Sarah quietly. "He actually looked, sort of ashamed." Donna was stunned; this wasn't the Harvey Specter she knew.

"So if he came to apologise, how did you end up talking about me?" Donna asked. Sarah thought for a moment. She wasn't about to betray Harvey's trust by telling her the full story.

"I don't really know, you just sort of came up in the conversation," she lied.

"Ha! Let me guess," said Donna, "he told you that he can't be him without me and that I'm purposely betraying him by going to work for Louis?"

"No," said Sarah, surprised at how hurt Donna sounded when she spoke, "he... told me this story about a cocktail party you went to together years ago."

"What?" asked Donna, now totally confused, "are we talking about the same Harvey?"

"Yeah, he told me all about what a great night the two of you had, and about how beautiful you looked in your navy dress, and how you laughed all the way home. He even remembered you smelled like butterscotch." Suddenly the night in question came flooding back to Donna, she'd ordered a new bottle of her favourite perfume but they delivered the wrong one – it had hints of vanilla and butterscotch to it, and she'd liked it so much she decided to keep it.

"I forgot I even had that dress," said Donna, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong Donna?" asked Sarah, starting to panic slightly, "I really didn't mean to upset you."

"No you didn't," smiled Donna, attempting to wipe her eyes without smudging her makeup, "it's just, he's right, we did have an amazing night." Donna paused. "I kind of wish we could go back," she whispered.

Just then they were interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"Sarah! Are you in there?" Shouted Mike from the other side of the door. Sarah quickly ran and opened it, leaving Mike surprised that she was in fact in there, and even more surprised that Donna was in there with her.

"Where have you been? Harvey wants to see you in his office!"

"Oh," said Sarah suddenly feeling nervous, "Am I in trouble or something?"

"I doubt it," replied Mike, "he's in the best mood he's been in for weeks! But in terms of what he wants, I don't actually know. Apparently it's between you and him." He and Donna stared at Sarah questioningly.

"Uh, well then I have no idea either," Sarah lied, quickly leaving the room.

"Sarah!" smiled Harvey as she walked into his office.

"What can I do for you Harvey?"

"Listen," he said, closing the door then walking back across the room to lean on the window-ledge, "I just wanted to say thank you for last night, it really...helped. Actually, last night was the first time I've slept all night since, well...you know..."

Sarah observed him closely. The dark circles under his eyes were much lighter, and his skin was almost glowing.

"It shows Harvey," she said softly, "You look great." The two of them just stood in silence, watching each other, unsure of what either of them should say next. The moment was soon interrupted by Mike bursting into the room.

"Well of course, I always look great!" grinned Harvey arrogantly, hoping Mike wouldn't notice the tension in the room.

"Well I wouldn't go that far Harvey, you are kinda starting to look your age," countered Mike.

"Did you just come here to fire insults that aren't true, or do you actually have a valid reason for interrupting us?"

"Actually yes, Ian Taylor's PA is here for his deposition." With all of the personal stuff that had happened in the past couple of days, Sarah hadn't even been thinking about the case, she was just glad she'd finished typing up all the paperwork early.

"Sarah, I've started to come up with a line of questioning for Ian's deposition tomorrow, can you finish it for me?" asked Mike. Sarah had to admit she was slightly disappointed – she hoped that she would at least get to sit in on the deposition.

"Yeah sure thing Mike," she said, as politely as possible. She was just about to leave the room when Harvey called after her:

"Wait! I think the paperwork can wait until later. Sarah can come and sit in on this, she's earned it," he smiled. Sarah felt herself blushing and looked down at the floor to hide it.

"Thanks Harvey."

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The way Harvey performed in the deposition, Sarah had never seen anything like it. He was at the top of his game, and had the guy nailed in less than ten minutes. The three of them left the room grinning from ear, going their separate ways as Harvey had suggested they all take an extended lunch break. Sarah left the office for a brief shopping trip, and when she returned an hour later she was still smiling, feeling so proud of the part she'd played in their success. Her happiness was short lived however, as she was walking past the women's bathroom when she heard what could only be described as a screaming match... between two people she knew very well.

She stopped for a moment to listen, when whatever was going on came to an abrupt end. Donna came storming out of the bathroom, clenching her jaw, and attempting to hold back the flood of tears that was threatening to overflow. Sarah was tempted to follow her, but she knew that Donna could handle herself. The person still inside the bathroom? She wasn't so sure.

She walked inside to find Harvey leaning against the counter, his whole body shaking.

"Harvey! Are you okay?!" gasped Sarah, running to his side. But he couldn't speak. His face was deathly pale and his eyes glazed over. He was attempting to loosen his tie, and having great difficulty breathing. Sarah's heart began to race – she had seen this before, in fact, she'd experienced this before.

"Harvey," she said, pulling his arms away from his collar, "just look at me, okay? Soon this will all be over." She took one look into his dark eyes and all she could see was fear. She quickly, and rather skilfully took off his tie and unfastened the top few buttons on his shirt, forcing herself not to think about how uncomfortable this would be under any other circumstances. He was still choking on the air, gasping for oxygen, so Sarah took his hands in hers, forcing him to concentrate on her.

"Harvey, I want you to breathe with me okay, I know how scary this is, but I promise you're going to be okay." He nodded, but still looked terrified, gripping her hands tightly. Sarah continued to breathe deeply, never once breaking eye contact with him, until eventually he stepped back and leaned against the counter, closing his eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered, his heart rate finally slowing.

"It's okay Harvey," she said sympathetically. They both stood there in silence, exhausted by what they had both just experienced. Harvey bent down to pick up his tie off the floor, still shaking slightly.

"I need to... go and... finish the,"

"No you don't," interrupted Sarah, placing a hand on his chest to stop him from leaving the room. She could feel his heartbeat beneath his shirt, as he looked down at her hand. She lowered her arm and stepped back to give him some space.

"Harvey, it's six o'clock already. Just go home, I'll cover for you." She said quietly.

He looked up and nodded silently, before slowly walking out of the room.

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 **Thank you so much to everyone that has stuck with me up to this point, I have to say I've really enjoyed writing this. I felt like I had to include a panic attack in this chapter after Gabriel's stunning acting in 5x03 – he totally blew me away. The question is, when and why did Sarah have one? Keep reading and maybe you'll find out ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

"You're not Harvey," said Jessica, rather matter-of-factly, as she walked into his office to find Sarah looking through a pile of documents.

"Erm, no... he's at a meeting out of the office Miss Pearson, is there something I can do for you?" Sarah asked, hoping her lie wasn't too obvious.

"It's Sarah right?" asked Jessica. Sarah nodded in reply. "Okay, well Sarah I would hate for us to get off on the wrong foot, and I know what you've just told me is bullshit." Sarah froze, realising that the only way out of this situation would be to tell the truth, or at least part of the truth.

"I'm sorry Miss Pearson, it's just that he really didn't feel well and he told me not to tell anyone. He's actually gone home early."

Jessica frowned, and stood up even straighter to exert her authority – her height was one of her best weapons.

"Well, you can tell him from me that if he doesn't find a cure for his Donna syndrome soon then I'll be taking his name off the goddamned wall." She fired one last glare before storming out of the room, leaving Sarah stunned into silence.

An hour later she was stood outside of Harvey's apartment, ready to warn him about Jessica. _Oh God, this was a huge mistake,_ she thought, staring at the white door in front of her, _I have no right to be here, he's my boss! What if he's asleep and I wake him? Or worse, what if he's in bed with some gorgeous model he picked up on the way home?_ She tried to shake the thoughts from her mind, determined to make sure Harvey was okay, and quickly knocked on the door. There was a moment of silence, before she heard footsteps. Harvey opened the door, still wearing his shirt and trousers from the office, with his sleeves rolled up and several buttons unfastened – he looked exhausted.

"Look Harvey, I'm sorry I came here, this was a mistake," said Sarah, a mixture of fear and regret in her voice. Harvey sighed and opened the door a little wider.

"Well, there's obviously a reason you came so you'd better come in."

Sarah nervously followed him inside, and was immediately in awe of her surroundings. From the gleaming granite worktops to the spotless white dining table, the condo screamed wealth, elegance and all things Harvey Specter. Harvey laughed, and she turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms folded.

"Pretty impressive huh?" he asked, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"That's an understatement Harvey, most people could never even dream of owning a place like this!"

"Well most people aren't the best closer in New York city."

"That's very true Harvey," Sarah said continuing to take in every inch of her surroundings.

 _She's like an excited little kid,_ thought Harvey, watching Sarah admiring his apartment, _I remember when life excited me that much..._

"Listen," he said to Sarah, "I wouldn't normally do this but there is one bit of this place you haven't seen that I think you'll love." He gestured for Sarah to follow him along the hallway, where they reached a set of double doors. Harvey pressed a small button on the wall, and the doors opened to reveal an elevator.

"You have got to be kidding me," said Sarah, in total disbelief. Harvey laughed, shaking his head, and stepped inside.

"Anyway, how did you find out where I live?" asked Harvey, pressing the button to take them up to the top floor of his condo.

"I asked Louis," replied Sarah.

"Louis?" asked Harvey, looking confused.

"Well, if I'd asked anyone else they would have wanted to know why. I just told Louis you'd left an important file at the office and you needed it before tomorrow."

"Touché." Grinned Harvey.

The doors of the elevator opened and it immediately struck Sarah that she was now in Harvey Specter's bedroom. She began to feel a flutter in her stomach as she looked at the huge King-sized bed in front of her, forcing herself not to think about all of the things that could have happened in that room. Suddenly Harvey stepped behind her and placed his hands over her eyes.

"Keep your eyes closed," he whispered. Sarah shivered at the sound of his voice in her ear. He took her hands in his, gently leading her across the room. She heard a door open, and suddenly felt a soft breeze on her skin. Harvey continued to lead her forwards for a few more steps until he stepped backwards and told her to open her eyes.

They were stood on a huge terrace, almost the size of the bedroom they had just walked through, and stretched out before them against the soft orange glow of the setting sun was the vast New York skyline. Sarah didn't even move as she looked out across the city, all of its sights and sounds just ready to be taken in – it was a view that rivalled the top of the Empire State building. She felt Harvey rest a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll leave you here to take in the view while I fix us a drink."

Sarah walked to the edge of the terrace, admiring the greatest city in the world laid out at her feet. This was like some kind of fantasy – like she was Nick Carraway, and she'd accidentally stumbled into Gatsby's world. Harvey returned carrying two glasses of Macallan eighteen, and gestured for Sarah to sit down opposite him on one of the chairs in the centre of the terrace.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're here?" asked Harvey, taking a sip of his drink.

"Well, you aren't going to like this," started Sarah. "Basically, Jessica told me to let you know that if you don't get you're shit together she's taking your name off the wall." Harvey closed his eyes and clenched his jaw angrily.

"Sarah, I thought I told you not to tell her where I'd gone."

"Harvey, I swear I didn't! I told her you had a meeting but she said she knew that was bullshit and this was about your 'Donna syndrome' as she put it."

"I do not have Donna syndrome!" Harvey exclaimed angrily. Sarah just looked at him sympathetically; she couldn't believe how in denial he was. He sat back in his chair, taking another sip of whisky, and Sarah did the same.

"Do you want to talk about what happened this afternoon?" asked Sarah, breaking the silence.

"I thought you said I got to choose what I tell you?" replied Harvey.

"Well that was before I watched you having a panic attack," said Sarah. Harvey just stared at her, the fear returning to his eyes as he remembered that awful drowning sensation he'd experienced just a few hours earlier.

"I'll tell you about the argument with Donna, if you tell me how you knew what to do," he said decisively.

"What do you mean?"

"The way you kept so calm and helped me to breathe through it – either you've done that before or you've been in my situation before. I want to know which."

Sarah stared out over the city, taking another sip of her drink. She felt conflicted; on one hand she wanted to help Harvey, but on the other she hated talking about her personal life.

"Okay Harvey," she decided, "I'll tell you, but you have to understand I've never told this story to anyone before, and I'm only doing it to help you." Harvey nodded silently as Sarah began to talk, her stomach already starting to churn.

"I didn't exactly have the conventional happy family as a child. My Mom was amazing, we were so close, and literally did everything together. I was never very popular, so all the way up until the end of high school she was like my best friend. Sadly...I can't exactly say the same for my Dad." Sarah felt her mouth turning dry and took another swig from her glass, looking down at the floor to avoid Harvey's gaze.

"To put it politely he was never really there for me, in fact he acted like I never even existed. There was always something better to do, be it work, or drinking and gambling with his friends. I tried everything to get his attention, in fact my whole life revolved around trying to impress him...but by the time I was a teenager we were pretty much strangers." Sarah felt tears starting to form in her eyes, and hoped she could just get through the story before they overflowed.

"Then...one day," she started to choke, "I came home from school and all of his clothes and belongings were gone...and I never heard from him again."

"So is that when they started...the panic attacks?" Harvey asked softly. Sarah nodded, and suddenly it all became too much. She put down her glass and covered her face with her hands. She broke down and started to cry. Harvey couldn't bear to watch her like this, so he stood up and walked to her side, sitting down beside her and gathering her up in his arms.

"It's okay Sarah," he whispered, "just let it out."

The smell of Harvey's cologne and the warmth of his body against hers made Sarah feel so safe that she began to cry even harder – the sun had completely set by the time her tears had stopped. Harvey sat and held her for a moment longer. He wasn't sure what made him do that, he'd never comforted Donna or Scottie or any of his countless one night stands. He just felt an overwhelming urge to protect her – like the little sister he'd never had. This was love, and it was the first time he'd allowed himself to feel it since he was a little boy.

"Harvey, why are you crying?" asked Sarah. Harvey hadn't even noticed the tears trickling down his own cheeks. He laughed, and dried his eyes with his thumb.

"I just got a little overwhelmed I guess," he said, standing up and holding out a hand to Sarah, "come on, it's getting cold, let's get you inside."

The walls that Harvey had spent so long hiding behind were finally coming down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, thank you so much again for reading and reviewing – hearing your feedback really puts a smile on my face. It's been suggested that in the show there's no way Harvey would have opened up to Sarah so quickly, and I totally agree. I was going to write something far more in character but my feels got the better of me and I decided to write something fluffy instead. Let's hope this chapter is a little more true to the show – I swear these characters will be the death of me!**

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Sarah opened her eyes the next morning to the sun streaming through the windows, experiencing a sudden feeling of panic at the realisation that she wasn't in her own bed, or her own clothes. The crisp white sheets of the bed and the sleek lines of the furniture around her looked totally unlived in – the opposite of her own room. But then again, she and Harvey were opposites in many ways. After Sarah's minor breakdown the night before Harvey had taken her inside where they'd continued to drink and talk for hours. The next thing they knew it was one in the morning, and a slightly tipsy Sarah was being ushered into Harvey's spare room with one of his old Harvard t-shirts to sleep in. Sarah lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling, her senses being overwhelmed by the softness of the sheets, and the smell of Harvey which still lingered on his shirt. She could have stayed there forever, but she was soon brought back to reality by a gentle knock at the door.

"Morning sleepy head," smiled Harvey, peering his head around the door.

"Hey Harvey," replied Sarah sleepily.

"I've left some clean towels in the bathroom in case you want to get a shower before breakfast."

"Thank you Harvey, but do you know where I put my dress from yesterday? Somehow I don't think walking home in this would be such a good idea," said Sarah, getting out of bed and gesturing to Harvey's shirt which was barely long enough to cover her.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I think it suits you," Harvey winked, "but... it is a bit cold outside so I left some clothes out for you too. They were Donna's, but don't worry, I've had them cleaned, and besides they haven't been worn in about twelve years."

Sarah had soon showered, grateful for the feeling of warm water on her skin, as she was feeling a little rough from the night before. She dried her body and slipped on the black yoga pants and light blue tank top that had been left out for her – surprisingly they fit perfectly. She made her way back to the kitchen where she saw Harvey making breakfast in his sweatpants and white t-shirt. _I don't think waking up to this would ever get old,_ thought Sarah. When Harvey turned around and saw her he was taken aback slightly, the same look flashing through his eyes as when Sarah had put vanilla in his coffee – there was obviously an important memory associated with these clothes, but Sarah didn't feel like it was the right time to ask. She sat down at the breakfast bar where Harvey immediately served her with a plate of pancakes and a hot cup of coffee.

"You're kidding me," laughed Sarah, "you can cook too?"

"Yeah my Dad taught me," said Harvey, "I enjoy it but I don't usually get the time, so whenever someone stays over I like to cook for them."

"So all the girls you bring here get the full Specter treatment then huh?

"Well, most of those girls don't stay long enough to get breakfast, but they will have already had enough of the Specter treatment to last a lifetime," smirked Harvey suggestively. Sarah felt herself blushing again, and tucked into her pancakes to try and distract herself from the man stood in front of her. They both remained silent while they ate, and after a while Sarah could feel Harvey watching her.

"What's on your mind Harvey?" she asked, unable to handle his eyes boring into her.

"There's just something about you Sarah," he said softly, "I've never opened up to anyone the way I have with you. I have no idea why it's so...easy."

"Well it's pretty obvious when you think about it Harvey, everyone you talk to is either a one-night stand or part of your secret circle of trust. I'm the perfect middle ground."

"Okay, I'm not going to touch the one night stand part, but what do you mean by secret circle of trust?"

"I mean the people you work with Harvey. There are hundreds of lawyers and paralegals and secretaries at the firm, but it's as if you, Mike, Rachel, Jessica, Donna and even Louis are part of an elite club that nobody else can be a part of! You wonder why I was so thankful that you chose me to be part of your case, but you don't realise how excited I was to finally get a glimpse into your world. You don't just work together, you're like family; you know everything about each other and every single one of them would take a bullet for you. I'm just a nobody who happened to stumble into your life, I haven't known you long enough to be able to judge you for your actions and I'm not close enough to anyone else to be able to share what you've told me."

"Mike Ross never went to law school."

Sarah was silent. She thought she'd misheard him.

"What?"

"You wanted to know why we're all so close? Well it's because we're all hiding this secret that could land us in jail. Mike never went to law school. I found out the day I met him and I hired him anyway."

"You don't understand Harvey, I didn't want to know why you're so close. I'm pleased you trust me enough to tell me your secret but I can see it goes a lot deeper than that. You're all so close because you've been through everything together. You've all dedicated your lives to your work, and Harvey, they care about you more than you could possibly know...which brings me back to Donna."

"What about Donna?" Harvey sighed, rolling his eyes.

"You never told me what you were arguing about yesterday."

"She said that she wanted to congratulate me on our deposition so I said thank you, and that she'd never get to witness such greatness as long as she was working for Louis. I was only kidding but she took it as some kind of personal attack. She told me I was being childish so I... I said that she was childish for leaving me in the first place. It was a total overreaction considering I only told her what she already knew..."

"Harvey, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to be a bit more specific, I'm not psychic," Sarah laughed, "is this about why she left you?"

"Yes, but like I said, she already knew it so I don't know why she suddenly got all emotional about it!"

"Harvey, what are you talking about?"

"I told her I love her okay!" Sarah was stunned, she'd been right about them all along.

"Oh don't look so shocked Sarah," said Harvey, angrily, "do you think I'm incapable of being nice to someone?"

"Wait," said Sarah, still trying to take in what she'd just heard, "did you say it because you love her, or did you say it to be nice?"

"Well what difference does it make?" asked Harvey, looking totally confused. Sarah sighed.

"It makes all the difference Harvey, some guys don't sincerely admit that they love a woman until they are about to propose!"

"But she knows how much I care about her! I was willing to risk my integrity to keep her out of jail!"

"That's exactly it Harvey, she may know how much you care about her but care and love are two very different things."

"Okay listen," said Harvey, suddenly standing up, "I know Donna better than anyone, and I don't need you giving me shit about our relationship. I think you'd better go, or we're both going to be late for work."

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A few hours later Sarah and Mike were sat in his office preparing for their deposition which was due to take place in just half an hour – Harvey had yet to enter the building.

"Where the hell is he?" asked Mike, becoming increasingly anxious. Sarah stayed silent, just hoping that he would make a last minute appearance. Just then Rachel walked into the room, grabbing Mike from behind and kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey you," she whispered in Mike's ear. Mike looked slightly embarrassed and pulled Rachel's arms away from his waist.

"Rachel, you've met Sarah before right?"

"Uh, yeah I think I've seen her around before," said Rachel, who suddenly realised there was someone else in the room besides her fiancé, "Listen Mike I just came to tell you that I've finished working on that case with Jessica so now I'm free to help you."

"Um that's great Rachel," said Mike, sounding surprised, "it's just that we'll also be done in a few days, and Harvey brought Sarah in to help while you were gone."

"Oh," said Rachel, looking slightly upset, "well then I guess I can just help out if you guys need anything."

Harvey did eventually come in to work, just five minutes before the deposition was due to start. He was dressed as impeccably as ever, but his jaw was set so firm it looked like it had been chiselled out of marble. He was clearly still furious after his conversation with Sarah, but luckily his anger only helped him to focus. Ian's deposition was over in record time, after Harvey managed to persuade him to cut a deal. They were walking out of the conference room when Mike held up his hand to share a high five with Harvey.

"Wow Harvey, I've never see you acting so badass! Up top?"

"I'm not in the mood Mike," Harvey mumbled, before turning and walking back down the hall to his office.

"Jeez, what got into him?" asked Mike. Sarah felt so guilty about what she'd said that morning. Whether or not it was true didn't matter, she'd gone too far, and she had to go and apologise.

"Listen Harvey, I..."

"Not now Sarah, I'm really not in the mood." Harvey interrupted, when she entered his office.

"I know, but I just wanted to apologise, I had no right to say all of those things about Donna."

"Damn right you didn't!" said Harvey, flinching at the sound of Donna's name, "in fact I think it might be better if you step out of this 'circle of trust' as you call it." Sarah's heart thumped in her chest.

"What do you mean step out?"

"I mean, I don't need you anymore. Mike and Rachel can finish off on the case, and you can get the hell back where you belong – in with all the other associates who will never amount to anything." Sarah couldn't speak as she choked back the tears. She turned around, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry, and began to leave the room.

"Oh, and Sarah," she heard behind her, "if you EVER think of telling anyone what I told you about Mike, I'll make sure you end up with the longest prison sentence of us all."


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days past and Sarah returned to her cubicle, and her old life of filling in paperwork for partners that didn't even know her name. She was having trouble sleeping, and even more trouble getting her work done. She sat staring into space, remembering Harvey's apartment, the way he smelled when she cried into his shirt, the way he'd looked at her during his panic attack, and all the things he'd told her about himself, and Mike, and Donna, and...

"Sarah!" snapped Louis, leaning over her desk, "I don't care how Harvey treated you, but now that you're back working for me, you'll be expected to finish whatever work I give you, even if you find the wall more interesting!"

 _How Harvey treated me..._ thought Sarah, _now that's something I don't think I can even explain._

Harvey hadn't even spoken to her since he'd sent her out of his office, in fact neither had Mike, or Rachel, or Donna. It was as if the whole thing had been a dream... or possibly a nightmare. Just then the man responsible for Sarah's sleepless nights came storming into the room.

"Louis, what the hell did you do?!" screamed Harvey, as the whole room went silent.

"Harvey, what are you talking about?" asked Louis, who seemed genuinely confused.

"Oh so the fact that one of my biggest clients just left me has nothing to do with you?"

"No Harvey, I wouldn't do that," replied Louis, who now looked furious at what he was being accused of, "in case you didn't realise, when you lose a client, the firm also loses a client, which means the firm loses money and that's no good for any of us! But you wouldn't realise that because you only ever think about yourself, and now that you don't have Donna sorting out every aspect of your life, it looks like you can't even manage to hold on to your own clients!" That was a low blow, even for Louis, but what happened next was even more shocking. Harvey's eyes darkened, his jaw clenched and he punched Louis square in the face. There was a simultaneous gasp from everyone in the room as Louis stumbled backwards. Harvey gripped his hand in pain, trying to remain as composed as possible, but there was a distinct look of regret showing in his eyes. Both men immediately turned and left the room at opposite ends; Harvey walking slowly with his shoulders hunched, and Louis running to hide the tears rolling down his cheeks. All of the associates started whispering amongst themselves, in total disbelief of what had just happened.

Sarah couldn't take it anymore. The firm was falling apart around her, she knew exactly why, and there was nothing she could do about it. She still felt torn inside – part of her wanted to run to Harvey's side with an ice pack for his hand and advice for how to apologise to Louis. The other part of her hated him for the way he'd used her, and felt embarrassed by the way he'd just behaved. There was only thing to do in a situation like this: go out and get blind drunk. The thought of heading out to a crowded night club to be harassed by men whilst she drank just wasn't appealing, but neither was sitting alone in her apartment with only her thoughts, so a few hours later Sarah found herself sat in the corner of her favourite little jazz club, cradling the third glass of expensive scotch she'd recently acquired a taste for.

As the alcohol began to build in her veins, so did the hurt and the anger. She kept replaying the events of the past couple of weeks in her head, over and over, and with each repetition she only felt more humiliated. She'd entered Harvey's world a naive little kid who worshipped him like he was some kind of superhero...

 _But that's the last thing he is,_ thought Sarah, _he's nothing but a goddamn coward who's incapable of understanding how he feels! No wonder Donna left him!_

"Hey, do you mind if we sit here?" Sarah's train of thought was interrupted.

"You have got to be kidding me," said Sarah, looking up to see Mike and Rachelholding hands next to her. Mike ignored Sarah's comment and sat down opposite her, dragging Rachel into the chair beside him.

"Didn't expect you to be a scotch drinker," Mike laughed, gesturing to the glass in Sarah's hand.

"Well I wasn't," she replied, "or at least not until Harvey..." she trailed off; the last thing she wanted to do was start talking about that man.

"Wait, you're kidding me," said Mike, who was quite obviously tipsy, "there's no way Harvey gave you a drink! I worked for him for about six months before he even offered me some of his scotch!"

"Yeah well, there's a lot you don't know about me," replied Sarah coldly. Mike suddenly became aware that Sarah wasn't in the best of moods, as the atmosphere became more tense.

"So, erm anyway," he tried to change the subject, "how'd you find out about this place? We've never seen you here before."

"Actually I was going to ask you the same thing," she said, "I've been coming here for years, but I didn't expect anyone else at the firm to know about it. It is pretty well hidden after all."

"Well Harvey's Dad was a saxophone player and he used to perform here sometimes. Harvey brought me here after a big case a few months ago and we've been coming here ever since," Mike smiled at Rachel, squeezing her hand.

"Oh, I didn't know that about Harvey's Dad," said Sarah, trying to mask the anger she felt at the mention of his name.

"Yeah well you wouldn't, Harvey keeps his personal life pretty secret."

The comment sounded much more patronizing than Mike intended, and if there was one thing Sarah hated, it was being talked down to.

"Oh I get it," she said, "so he'll only talk about his family with people he really trusts but it's fine for him to dump all of his fucking baggage on me after he's only known me for three weeks?!" Mike and Rachel's eyes widened at Sarah's sudden outburst.

"Sarah, what are you talking about?" asked Rachel.

"Look it doesn't matter," sighed Sarah, trying her hardest to keep calm, "I came here tonight to try and forget about it all."

"Forget about what? Look Sarah, if there's something going on with Harvey we need to know," said Mike, suddenly sounding panicked.

"Ah of course," laughed Sarah, "if there's a chance Harvey is in trouble you'll jump at the chance to help him. I guess it's not surprising really, given that he's the one hiding your dirty little secret." She swallowed the rest of her drink in one go, wincing at the way it burned her insides.

"Sarah... what are you talking about?" asked Mike, the colour draining from his face.

"Oh calm down Mike, I'm not going to tell everyone you're a fraud."

"Keep your voice down," whispered Mike forcefully, "how the hell do you even know about that."

"Well I don't know Mike, because obviously there's no way Harvey would tell me, right!?"

"No actually, he wouldn't," said Mike, his eyes fixed on Sarah, "all the people who know found out for themselves, Harvey never told anybody." Sarah didn't know what to say. She looked down at the empty glass in her hands, an acidic pit forming in her stomach.

"Hey Sarah," said Rachel sweetly, "this isn't just about Harvey, if you want to talk about anything we're here for you."

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" Sarah asked, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "I get taken off the case and after three days neither of you has even asked me why." Mike and Rachel looked at each other, an expression of guilt forming on their faces."

"We're sorry Sarah," said Mike, "Harvey told us it was your choice to stop working with us... but there's obviously more to it than that, so why don't you tell us."

"I can't," whispered Sarah, a tear spilling over and rolling down her left cheek.

"Look whatever it is," started Mike, "no matter how bad it seems, it always feels better after you tell someone. I know that better than anyone." Sarah thought for a moment. Despite everything, part of her still wanted to keep Harvey's secrets, but she knew she wouldn't be able to bottle it up forever.

"Okay," she said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, "but if you spread this around I'll tell everyone your secret."

Two hours and several more drinks later, Sarah had told them the whole story, and felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Holy shit," was all Mike could manage. They all sat in silence for a while, just sipping their drinks. Eventually Rachel started to speak.

"When I heard she'd left him I thought he must have kissed her or slept with her, but I had no idea he would have ever admitted he loves her."

"I just can't believe he told her he said it to make her feel better, I mean what a dick," said Mike.

Sarah continued to sip at her drink, suddenly feeling guilty that she'd betrayed Harvey's trust.

"Oh God," sighed Mike, "We have to get them to sort their shit out. Especially after he decided to take it out on Louis' face today."

"No!" shouted Sarah, louder than she intended, "he'll know it was me that told you and he'll make sure no partner will want to work with me ever again."

"I won't let that happen Sarah," said Mike, "not after the way he's treated you."

Sarah smiled, but still felt nervous at what could happen if Mike and Rachel decided to take things into their own hands.

"Well I think we need to start by inviting them to our engagement party," said Rachel, "I mean if we get a few drinks into them they might at least start talking."

"Wait, you two are engaged?!" gasped Sarah.

"You're kidding me right? Harvey told you all of that and he didn't tell you we're engaged?" Mike laughed.

"No he didn't," sighed Sarah, "but congratulations anyway."

"Thank you," said Mike and Rachel simultaneously, and the three of them began to come up with a way to get rid of Harvey's Donna Syndrome once and for all.

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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing guys! Positive reviews always motivate me to update, although I'm open to constructive criticism too. Again, when it comes to Harvey acting out of character, that was a conscious decision rather than a lack of understanding of the character – if he was totally in character he probably wouldn't have opened up to Sarah until chapter 50, and my name would be Aaron Korsh ;) Speaking of which the "12 years" scene at the end of that episode totally killed me.


	9. Chapter 9

Whilst Sarah, Mike and Rachel were discussing Harvey in the bar, the man himself was still in his office, an icepack attached to one hand, a glass of scotch in the other, and one of his Dad's old records playing quietly in the background. He was sat at his desk with his back to the door, trying to drown out the thought of what he'd done to Louis, and what Jessica would say when she found out. Just then, he heard the unmistakeable click of black leather Manolos against the floor behind him. He put down his glass and turned around, feeling ready to take on the full force of the red-head about to enter his door.

"Look Donna, before you start lecturing me, I'm not in the mood. I know I shouldn't have hit Louis but what's done is done," he said defiantly.

"No Harvey," said Donna, just as forcefully, "I don't think you regret what you did at all, so I want to know why you did it."

"Well you were there weren't you? One of my biggest clients fired me today and I thought Louis must have been behind it."

"Why because that's what you'd do to him?" Donna challenged. Harvey's jaw clenched and he stared at her intensely.

"How dare you come in here and accuse me of playing dirty when you know that's one thing I'd never do."

"Oh so you weren't playing dirty when you kicked Sarah off your case, despite the fact she'd done nothing wrong, and even put up with you turning up to her apartment in the middle of the night?"

Harvey suddenly felt embarrassed – it did sound pretty bad when it was said out loud.

"Sarah needs to learn to keep her nose out of other people's business, and besides that was personal, we're talking about business."

"That's bullshit Harvey! All of your business is personal!" Donna cried out in frustration, "you've dedicated your life to your work and you expect everyone else to do the same!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Harvey asked, still looking just as angry.

Donna sighed and walked across the room, stopping to lean against the window ledge.

"You remember the night we first met right?" she asked, much more quietly this time. Of course he did; vivid memories of flowing red hair, rosy cheeks and pink lips flashed through his mind as soon as she mentioned the night in question, but he didn't want to let Donna know what he was thinking.

"Of course Donna," he said, as coldly as possible, "but what does this have to do with..."

"Do you remember what I said to you that night?" Donna quickly interrupted.

"You'll have to be more specific Donna, do you mean your "you have no idea how Donna I am" speech, or when you told me to keep away from Forstman?"

"Neither of those Harvey," Donna replied angrily, although inside she was shocked that he could remember her exact words after all this time. Usually she could read Harvey like a book, but tonight she just had no idea what he was thinking, and it was annoying the hell out of her.

"Why did I say I wanted to work for you Harvey?" she asked. Harvey thought for a moment.

"You said you wanted to be an actress, and that you thought I would give you time off for auditions if you needed it. But you've done acting since then Donna, I even came to watch you in that play you did last year." He replied.

"Yes but you seem to have forgotten that I said I wanted to be working as an actress full time by the time you left the DA's office, and instead I came here to work with you."

"So? I thought you came here because you enjoyed working with me?"

"Of course I enjoyed working with you Harvey, but that doesn't mean I didn't want more for myself."

"More from your job, or more from me?"

Silence descended over the room, along with an atmosphere so tense you could cut through it with a knife. Donna realised at that moment that this was the longest they had maintained eye contact with one another since that one night in her apartment they both referred to as 'the other time'. She suddenly began to recollect the feeling of Harvey's hands exploring every inch of her body as he kissed her neck and whispered her name over and over again. She shivered, and felt her heart beginning to hammer against her chest at just the thought of his touch. His dark eyes continued to bore into hers, and her insides began to ache as she realised just how much things had changed between then and now. She pushed back the thoughts she had managed to block out for years, and turned to face the window.

"Is there really a difference Harvey?" she whispered.

"Are we really back to this again?" Harvey sighed.

"Come on Harvey," said Donna, turning to face him once more, "has it ever been about anything else?"

Harvey just looked at her, unsure of what to say next. The only thing he was sure of was the awful tightness beginning to return to his chest, and the undeniable quickening of his heartbeat.

"Well what did you expect Donna?!" he gasped, starting to panic, "You never complained once in twelve years, then suddenly you just quit and expect me to know why you're not happy?"

"It shouldn't take a mind reader Harvey," said Donna, "so when you figure it out we can talk." She calmly walked to the door, and left the room without even looking back. As soon as Donna was out of sight Harvey grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled for the one person who he knew could talk him down, before he experienced another full blown panic attack.

Sarah was laughing at Mike and Rachel's stories of Louis and his cat, and beginning to feel much better. At the worst possible moment her phone vibrated against the table, and her heart skipped a beat when she realised who was calling.

"Sarah, are you okay?" asked Mike, seeing the concern on her face.

"Yeah, it's just, Harvey calling me," she replied, unable to even pick up the phone.

"Don't answer it Sarah," said Rachel, quickly grabbing the phone and turning it off.

"But what if he needed something important?" Sarah asked, feeling guilty about declining the call.

"Then he'll call me or Rachel," reassured Mike, "he doesn't get to call on you in the middle of the night anymore."

Harvey threw his phone down on the chair, suddenly feeling very alone. His chest was tightening even more, and he was seriously struggling to breathe. The image of Donna walking away down the hall reminded him of the night she first told him she was leaving, and the memory only made things worse. He reached out for the last bottle of water on the coffee table, but his shaking hands couldn't grip the glass, and it soon smashed on the floor. He was beginning to feel dizzy and his vision was blurred, frantically grasping at his collar he ran to the door to see if there happened to be anyone passing by, but the hallways were empty. Walking backwards he furiously tried to unbutton his shirt, but his hands were shaking just too much. Without warning his legs collided with the coffee table behind him, sending him flying backwards and causing him to hit his head hard against the corner of the table. Laying on the floor, gasping for any oxygen he could get, the last of his vision clouded over, and the room faded to black.

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When he eventually re-opened his eyes he was blinded by the bright lights above his head and the whiteness of the room around him. He soon realised he was in a hospital bed, but couldn't recall how he's gotten there. As he began to sit up in bed, a middle-aged nurse walked in and came to his bedside.

"Just lie back down sir," she said, gently touching Harvey's shoulder, "can you tell me your name?"

"I'm not stupid, my name's Harvey Specter," he replied, continuing to try and get up. Suddenly he was hit by an unbearable throbbing in his temple, causing him to close his eyes and hold his head in pain.

"Sir I'm going to have to insist you stay lying down, you're going to be in a lot of pain for the next few days, you hit your head pretty hard!" the nurse told him. Harvey sighed and did as he was told.

"So I take it I can't leave anytime soon then?"

"No, I'm afraid we'll have to wait for the doctor to check you over before you can leave, but you do have a visitor if you'd like me to let her in."

"That depends who it is," said Harvey, who was surprised that anyone would actually come and see him.

"I believe her name is Jessica," replied the nurse.

 _Great..._ thought Harvey, _the last thing I need right now is an interrogation._ But he needed to find out what had happened to him, so agreed to let Jessica inside.

"Well you look like shit," she said, walking into the room, radiating elegance like only she could.

"Thanks," smirked Harvey, "you certainly don't."

"Ah, glad to see you haven't knocked any of that Specter charm out of you," she laughed. They both sat in silence, just watching each other.

"Jesus Christ Harvey, you really scared the shit out of me you know that?" Jessica eventually said, a look of real concern in her eyes, "What the hell happened?"

"Well I was hoping you could tell me that actually," Harvey replied.

"You mean you don't remember anything?" she asked, looking even more worried. Harvey shook his head, staring down at his hands.

"Well all I know is that one of our cleaning staff found you passed out in your office surrounded by broken glass and a pool of your own blood. They rang nine-one-one and after you were brought into the ER they called me. You've had a couple of scans and turns out you just have a minor concussion, but it could have been much worse." Suddenly the previous night came flooding back to Harvey; his argument with Donna, the panic attack and the cracking sound of his head hitting the glass table.

"Harvey, are you okay?" asked Jessica, reaching out to touch him gently on the forearm, "you've gone really pale all of a sudden, do you want me to call for a doctor?"

"No I'm fine Jessica, I think I just need some more rest." Jessica nodded and stood up, turning towards the door, but just as she was about to leave she began to speak once more.

"Are you sure there's nothing more going on here Harvey? You know you can tell me anything, we're partners," she said reassuringly. For a second Harvey considered telling her everything, but the truth was he was embarrassed. A grown god-damn man having severe anxiety attacks because his secretary had gone to work for someone else – how pathetic. Harvey shook his head and began to lie back down in his hospital bed. Jessica left the room, deciding not to pressure him if he didn't want to speak, but she could tell he was lying, and if Harvey wouldn't speak, maybe someone else would.

Two days later, and the next working week was beginning. Harvey had been discharged from hospital the day before, but Jessica had insisted he take the week off to recover, much to his irritation. Jessica had arrived at work early as usual, and by nine o'clock she was sat in her office waiting for the three people she had summoned in hope of finding out more about Harvey. Five minutes later, in walked Donna, followed by Rachel, then Mike, who ran in looking like he'd only just made it in on time.

"Sit down you three," said Jessica, gesturing to the chairs in front of her desk, "now I'm assuming you all can guess why I've called you in here."

"Are you going to tell us where Harvey is, because I really need his help on something?" asked Mike.

"Yes, this is about Harvey, I..."

"Sorry Jessica," interrupted Donna, "I don't mean to be rude but Harvey really isn't any of my concern anymore." She stood up, and began walking out of the room.

"Donna, come back here," instructed Jessica, "I'm well aware that you are Louis' secretary now, but this is personal and I think you'll want to know what's going on." Donna did as she was told.

"The reason that Harvey isn't here," continued Jessica, "is that he spent the weekend in the hospital."

"What?!" gasped Rachel.

"Is he okay?" asked Mike. Donna just stared at Jessica, looking like she was about to throw up.

"You don't need to worry about him. He collapsed in his office on Friday night and hit his head, giving him a minor concussion. He was discharged yesterday but I told him to take the week off to recover."

"Why didn't he tell us, we could have visited him?" asked Mike.

"He... told me not to tell any of you, he said he didn't want the fuss," said Jessica sympathetically.

"Typical Harvey," mumbled Donna, though her face showed she was more upset than angry.

"That doesn't matter now," said Jessica, "the reason I called you in here is because I know there's something bigger going on here. Harvey said there's not but I can tell when he's lying, so either he's ill or he's having some personal trouble or..." Jessica shrugged, unsure of how to finish her sentence.

Mike and Rachel looked at each other knowingly, remembering what Sarah had told them just a few nights before.

"I'm sorry Jessica," said Donna, tears starting to form in her eyes, "but Harvey and I aren't exactly close anymore...I have no idea."

"We do," said Mike, the three women turning to stare at him, "but it's not our secret to tell, you're going to have to get someone else in here if you want to know what's really going on with Harvey.

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"You wanted to see me Jessica?" Sarah asked cheerfully, but her smile disappeared when she saw Mike, Rachel and Donna also in the room.

"Sarah, Mike here tells me that you know something about Harvey that I don't, and if you know what's good for you, you'll tell me all about it right now." Sarah's feet were suddenly frozen in place, and her heart rate started to increase.

"I...I'm sorry but I promised Harvey I wouldn't," she stammered, shaking her head.

"Sarah, you don't owe him anything after how he treated you," said Rachel.

"And besides," Mike joined in, "if you really do still want to help him then the best thing you can do is tell Jessica."

"Never mind all that," interrupted Jessica fiercely, "why don't you think about the fact that I am the managing partner of this firm, and if you don't tell me, I will fire your ass." The whole room was suddenly silent, with all eyes on Sarah who was stood shaking in the middle of the room.

"Okay," she said quietly, "the reason Harvey hasn't been himself lately is because he's seeing a therapist. He's been suffering from severe panic attacks ever since Donna left him to go and work for Louis."

Jessica's eyes widened as she struggled to maintain her composure, whilst Donna stood up, and quickly left the room.


End file.
